The Hands-Free Cyclist

Is a tool. Let me explain. I hearken back to the early 80's, when I first learned to ride a bike. We lived in a cul-de-sac, so I rode in circles for endless hours once I was training wheel free. Almost immediately after learning to balance on a bike, the instinct is to try new and crazy things, such as riding with one's feet on the handlebars, or the extremely cutting-edge technique of riding hands-free. Mind blowing stuff. Just to summarize, within hours of learning to ride a bike, the hands-free technique is mastered.

Fast forward 20+years, and I see guys like this:

Look closely. His hands are in his hoodie pockets.

As he approached his left-hand turn, I could almost hear his thoughts: "Aw, sweet! A 90-degree turn is quickly approaching. This is my opportunity to display my prowess of riding hands-free. Few people can master this technique, and I am about to display the unattainable turn whilst my hands are in my Affliction hoodie pockets." Something like that, anyway.

I need your suggestions for how to deal with these people. My instincts are to do one or all of the following:

1. Leverage my bike ninja stealth moves to sneak up behind and startle said hands-free rider. This may result in some sort of faceplant on the asphalt. I grin as I ride away, using my hands.
2. Hide in the shadows alongside road or path with large obstacles. As hands-free cyclists approach, quickly place obstacle in their path. Brakes? They're on the handlebars, where your hands should be.
3. Make small trophies or certificates of accomplishment to distribute. They would be able to easily accept and inspect said award since their hands are available to do so. 
4. Slow clap.
5. Lasso. Perhaps a duct tape sabotage like this:





6. General verbal attacks, etc. 

I'm open to ideas.