Bike Shop Conversations

While many conversations I had with customers at the bike shop were quite fulfilling and interesting, I will sum up the majority of conversations had at the service counter below:

Me: "Welcome to [shop name]. What brings you in today?"

Customer: "Wheel. Flat. Fix."

Me: "Well . . . let me take a look at that for you."

Customer: "grunt"

Me: "Ok, looks like your tire is full of thorns and your tube is flat, but the good news is that the wheel is fine."

Customer: "That's what I said."

Me: "Sure. A standard tube is $X, and a thorn-resistant tube is $Y. Tires range from $20-$45 for this wheel. Installation labor is $Z."

Customer: "Give me one of those thorn-proof ones."

Me: "I must say, they aren't thorn-proof, just resistant. Like a bullet-proof vest."

Customer: "Huh?"

Me: (in my mind) "nevermind."

Me: (for real) "Ok, so one thorn-resistant tube and a tire. Coming right up."

Customer: "How long will this take? I need to go to Costco."

Me: "5 minutes tops."

Customer: "Can't I just come back?"

Me: "5 minutes tops." (Finished in 3)

Me: "All done! I can check you out at that register right there (I point)."

Customer: (goes to wrong register and pulls out a check).

Me: "I'm sorry sir, we don't take checks, but I'm happy to accept anything else (literally ANYTHING)."

Customer: (Non-verbal communication of disgust. Throws debit card.)

Me: "Thank you, that will be $XX.YY. Debit or Credit for you?"

Customer: "Credit. Forgot Pin."

Me: "No problem. Thank you Mr. So-and-so (I've helped him several times) very much. Here's your receipt, have a great day."

Customer: (no response)

Me: (to myself) "Ok, I'll go ahead and have a great day, too!"

Classic.